shall be

Have you ever noticed that if you say 'shall be' really fast it sounds a lot like 'Shelby'?
well it does.
I know people don't go around saying 'shall be' very much, but when you're in church,
it happens a lot.
I don't know how many times I've almost *&^%$ my pants because someone at the pulpit says 'shallbe' very fast and I think they're talking about me and I'm sure my face turns beet red and immediate paranoia hits me like a ton of bricks and I flash hot and then realize they said 'shall. be.'   (This usually happens when I'm not paying attention, so I guess it's my fault!)
still, it's not fun.
so why did I bring this up?
I don't know.  I just wondered if you knew that about me.
something else most of you know, but I don't think I've really ever addressed on this blog.  Maybe I did once.  I think I did.
I struggle with depression.  I hate that sentence.  I hate how it sounds.  I hate saying it.  I hate it.  I tried to think of another way to say it.  But- the bottom line is:  It's true. 
BUT today I felt happy.  :)   :)   :)   :)   :)   :)   :)  
For no particular reason. 
Just like there is no particular reason why I feel sad or down. 
It just happens to me.